“We can learn to work and speak when we are afraid.”
What is fear? Fear is an emotion. Karla McLaren teaches that our emotions are not here to hurt us, emotions are signals and signs, messages that let you know what matters to you. Karla points out that fear is about intuition and action – fear shows up to let you know that something needs to be attended to.
When we’re in fear, we have to ask fear to show itself. Fear, what do you want? What do you want me to do? What action needs to be taken?
When fear comes up for me, I talk to it. I find that speaking directly to fear helps me to face it, instead of pretending fear is not there and letting it run the show. I also tune into and listen to my body, and ask myself, “How is fear showing up in my body?”
For example, I feel fear when I have a “performance” like a high-stakes presentation, or I’m afraid that what I have to offer will be perceived as too “woo-woo,” not weighty, without enough seriousness and gravitas. Fear tells me that I am afraid because I want to be taken seriously. Fear is showing up because I think I will be perceived as a lightweight.
In these instances I have a desire to get it right, a drive for perfection and I experience the fear in my body as needles underneath my skin, heat rising in my face, sweat piercing my armpits.
What I don’t like about fear is it makes me stumble, hesitate, turn myself inside out. Fear can feel like being smothered, being stuffed down, my heart racing, trying to come up for air.
We can get stuck and paralyzed by fear.
I gain comfort from the words of lesbian essayist, poet, activist Audre Lorde, who wrote about her own struggles with fear – the fear of speaking up. She said in a paper she delivered in 1977 called The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action
Of what had I been afraid?
And I began to recognize a source of power within myself that comes from the knowledge that while it is most desirable not to be afraid, learning to put fear into a perspective gave me great strength….
We can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. For we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.
When you’re stuck in fear, don’t ignore it or try to be free it – talk to your fear. Ask, “Fear, what do you want? What do you want me to do? What action needs to be taken?”
And then get moving with your fear. As Audre Lorde said, “we can learn to work and speak when we are afraid.”
I have a creative practice. What do I mean by creative practice? I have a way of interacting with myself, my thoughts, my reading, my curiosities, my worries and the things that are making me unhappy, that involves writing, painting, drawing and making collages.
I do this practice daily in sketchbooks, creating what is often termed visual journals. In fact, the photo of the journal spread you see here combines collage with notes taken from a Lisa Sonora workshop on The 7 Creative Powers and visual journaling.
A few weeks ago, I shared a couple of my journals with two friends. They were amazed by the breadth and thickness of the journals – the colors, the words, the pockets in which I hide more words, the imagery – both drawn and created through collage.
My friends started to talk with me about how they used to express their creativity – “I used to collage,” one said, “I used to paint.” said the other.
They described how they let their creative yearnings fade as they had to step fully into their responsibilities and roles as parents and employees and partners. I was not surprised by what they shared – it is natural and expected that we have to prioritize our responsibilities, and that those responsibilities can push creative times for ourselves to the edge, or even completely off the table .
What did surprise me as we talked was the strength of their yearning to be creative again.
Is it necessary to choose between creating for yourself and taking care of what needs to be done? Or is there a middle ground?
We talked about ways, like my daily visual journaling – that could help them fill the creative hunger.
Since these interactions, one of my friends has started her own visual journal. She sets aside 30 minutes twice a week. She is taking this time for herself, before her youngest child wakes up, to spread paint on the page and to write without stopping and allow the feelings to emerge, whether they be feelings of sadness, release, joy.
This practice of journaling, whether that be with words and/or images, provides a place, a container to explore and speak out – to get the thoughts, feelings, confusion OUT of the body – so the body does not have to HOLD it all.
We often expect our bodies to hold all of our frustrations, griefs and pains – but we don’t have to use our bodies that way. Visual journaling takes the load off the body.
Seeing my friend set up her own creative practice gives me such joy. It is amazing to see her step into her inner voice, to listen to herself and generate energy for herself from her journaling.
Just 30 minutes twice a week….a bit of paint, some free writing, a few magazine images and glue to make a collage…these simple creative practices can be a container to reclaim yourself.
Create a collage of your values to support and fuel your intentions.
The page spread from my visual journal (shown in the photo above) is something I created recently to visually remind me of my values and what I want to emphasize in 2023.
What values do you want to focus on for 2023?
The values that I listed as my focus for this year are:
Expressiveness/Creativity
Connection
Impact
People of Color being healthy- physically, mentally, spiritually
Joy/Fun/Sparkle
Love
While I chose three words to write in the spread: To Create, Connect and Have Impact, once I had completed the spread, I noticed that I had chosen imagery that expressed the other values.
A Black woman held in a loving hand, given permission and space to rest deeply, radically, surrounded by trees and golden light.
The performer and activist Josephine Baker, sparkling and radiant, quoted: I shall Dance all my life.”
The fierce Tibetan Buddhist deity, Mahakala, who overcomes obstacles to enlightenment, reminds me that living my values is not light fluffy fare, but requires commitment, support and yes, fierceness.
And the mantra, breathe in, breath out, ahhh, reminds me, speaks to my commitment this year to be aware, daily, in all of my activities, of my breath, to soften, to breathe, to relax, to exert less effort, to allow, to notice, to let go . . .
Choose your Values focus for 2023, sit down with some magazines and tear out images that inspire and speak to you.
The techniques I used: I painted the pages, then collaged and used gelli printed newsprint on which I’d painted stenciled flowers. I used tissue paper too. I used photos from magazines and then wrote the words using my posca paint markers. I emphasized the words by using black posca between the letters, and outlining them in white posca marker.
I’m excited to share that my new workbook, Journaling Your Values, Vision & Voice – 30 Exercises to Reconnect with Your Inner Power, Radiance and Joy – is now available for purchase.
Available as a PDF and EPUB download for $25, this workbook helps you align with your gifts and strengths, gain greater clarity about who you are, what your vision is and what you want to create.
In this 4-week group workshop I give you the tools and space to write and explore what matters most to you. You’ll gain greater clarity, focus and confidence.
Know Your Values
We’ll do exercises to help you identify your needs and your core values. When you know your values, you’re better able to express what matters and make decisions that align with you are and want to be in the world.
Cultivate Your Voice
Journaling gives you a place to practice saying what you’re thinking, explore your curiosities, and honor your questions. Journaling helps you gain greater insight into what you want to say.
Craft Your Vision
What do you want to be different? In addition to journaling, we’ll use visualization and mindmapping to help you picture your future, express your dreams and craft your vision.
Workshop Details:
Four online group sessions, plus one session of 1 on 1 coaching for 30 minutes.
Dates: TBD* – Thursday evenings at 6 pm: 3/2, 3/9, 3/23, and 3/30 or Saturday afternoons at 2pm: 3/4, 3/11, 3/18 and 3/25.
*Please indicate your preference when you fill out the form.
Cost: $500/person, which includes one session of 1 on 1 coaching for 30 minutes. The coaching session is to be completed by May 30, 2023.
