How to work with your resistance.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about resistance. I had a client who wanted to write more so she could connect with her authentic voice. And yet, despite the desire, she found it hard to write 15 minutes a day, five days a week. 

Another client disappeared halfway through our 8 sessions. She had told me the sessions were valuable and transformative, but she stopped scheduling appointments. 

What’s going on? Why do we resist the change we desire? Why don’t we do the things that we long to do?

I’m no stranger to resistance. I love to write, and lately I have been writing daily in my journal. Yet, I wasn’t transcribing my writing and turning it into blog posts that I could share. Why not? Resistance. 

What is this resistance?

Steven Pressfield, who has written many screenplays, talks about his many years of not writing, along with his learning and understanding of the resistance that stops us in his book, Do the Work,

Interestingly, Pressfield gives resistance a capital letter. He says,

“The first principle of Resistance is that there is an enemy. There is an intelligent, active, malign force working against us. Step one is to recognize this. This recognition alone is enormously powerful. It saved my life, and it will save yours.” 

Where does resistance come from? 

In principle 4, Pressfield says, “The Enemy Is Inside You, But It Is Not You.”

You are not to blame for the voices of Resistance you hear in your head. They are not your “fault”. You have done nothing “wrong”. If you’ve got a head, you’ve got a voice of Resistance inside it. You have resistance the same way you “have” a heartbeat. You are blameless. You retain free will and the capacity to act.”

Now clearly, Pressfield is VERY DRAMATIC. He does write screenplays with lots of action, after all. And yet, how helpful to realize that resistance accompanies us – but is not us.

Resistance shows up when we decide to step out of our habitual way of doing things.

How do we deal with resistance? One of my tactics is to write my resistance.

For example, I have told myself that I’m not going to just write in my journal, I’m going to type my thoughts too. But even though I told myself I was going to do this, I didn’t do it.

So how did I shift it? I I started typing about how resistance feels in my body, in my mind and what makes me angry about it. And in doing the typing, I felt the resistance shrivel up.

That is why I talk about taking small steps – here and here. Because when you do small steps it is harder for resistance to get activated.

If you try to do big steps, you’re giving resistance energy. Resistance feeds off your desire for BIG things to happen and change. As soon as you make an announcement – hmm, think new year’s day resolutions, you’ve sent an announcement to Resistance, and Resistance gets ready for you. Try not making a big announcement.

Instead of a resolution, set an intention.

And what’s the difference? An intention is soft. An intention is gentle. An intention uses your imagination by starting a process where you just see in your mind’s eye what you want, what could be different.

An intention can start with an image – something that you’d like to see or be. You’re not TELLING yourself you have to do something, or making a DEMAND of yourself. instead of pushing yourself, you’re creating an atmosphere of delight by creating an image of what you’d like. Inspired by the image, start taking tiny steps and watch Resistance cower.