Getting stuck is natural. It’s normal. The trick is using the stuckness to get unstuck. But how?

First of all, relax. Don’t fight the stuckness. Fighting it pulls even more energy from you.

One of my favorite episodes from the old Star Trek – the original Star Trek – is called The Empath.  Spock, Kirk and McCoy are trapped in an energy field. They struggle to get out but can’t. Then Spock says, stop fighting it, the more we fight it, the stronger it gets. So they relax, totally relax, (of course Spock’s portion of the energy field disappears first) but then the others manage to relax enough too so the field dissipates.

Second, get curious. What does the obstacle feel like? Does it have a sound, a voice? If it were an image, what would it look like? 

Sometimes I notice that my stomach seems to be holding the obstacle. I may notice a tightening, a gripping. What about you?

Is the obstacle telling you that you want something else? What is it? What is even more important that stops you from creating what you want?

Maybe the obstacle has a name.  For me, one obstacle that steps up is the desire to be perfect. That obstacle doesn’t want me to make mistakes. It sees my potential and wants me to live up to it. RIGHT NOW.

What does the obstacle want for you? What does it fear? How old is this obstacle?

My Miss Perfect obstacle is very old, as old as I am, no maybe older? Is the obstacle as old as many generations? Miss Perfect has been around a long time. She knows that one of the nefarious traps of racism is that Black people can’t afford not to excel if we want to be taken seriously. And well, even that is often not enough.  Miss Perfect worries that I haven’t lived up to my potential. 

By noticing the obstacle, you may notice a need that arises.

For me, I notice a need for compassion, gentleness and self-care while I am making changes and striving to realize my potential, because making changes surfaces old patterns and doubts. And one of the ways I take care of myself is by having fun! So I take out my markers and start to doodle and color my way through my next steps. 

What about you? How can you relax? How can you get curious and notice what the stuckness is trying to tell you? When you’re feeling blocked, instead of entering into battle with yourself, try using the challenges as opportunities. And like the alchemists of legend, you can turn what feels like dross and yuckiness into treasure and beauty.