When colleagues challenge our ideas and ways of doing things, it’s easy to get defensive.

I know that there have been painful times when I felt that a colleague didn’t trust me because of the questions they asked. When I feel that way, it becomes harder to stay clear, feel confident and build trust with the folks I’m working with. 

I’ve learned a very helpful tool that I use now, thanks to a colleague’s advice to “put your thinking on the table.” There are a couple of variations: “show your thinking” or “make your thinking visible.”

Put your thinking on the table.

I’ve really leaned into this practice of putting my thinking on the table – and it’s a practice that takes effort and patience, especially when I’m feeling misunderstood. I’ve found that sharing the details of my process, “here’s what I think we should do, and here is what got me to this point,” gets me to SLOW DOWN and take my colleagues on a journey with me.

Making my thinking visible allows me to bring my colleagues into my world of associations, assumptions, and experiences. Seeing this as a practice means that I take my own way of making sense more seriously and don’t think, “Why don’t they already see that?” Instead, I think, the way that I’m seeing it is unique because it stems from my identity, knowledge, role and experience.

Making my thinking visible allows me to OWN my perceptions and my experiences through naming, claiming and sharing what’s brought me here to this viewpoint and proposal. 

So try it out. The next time someone questions why you want to do something a certain way, take a deep breath, and offer to walk them through your thinking.