People often ask me how they should think about the differences between mentoring, coaching and advising.
Mentoring is when someone who’s been where you are, helps you on your path.
For example, you’re a first-time communications director or CEO, and you reach out to people who’ve walked that path so that they can help you understand what that looks like.
A mentor is someone who’s willing to shine a light on the path that you’re walking and help you understand where the landmines and the opportunities are. In my interview with Nikole-Collins Puri, CEO of Techbridge Girls, she refers to the importance of having people that she can turn to who have been where she is.
A lot of us are hungry for mentors, and can find it hard to find them. I love the advice that Janet Mock gave during her 2019 Communications Network presentation.
She said, don’t try to find a mentor, just think about what you’re trying to figure out, and reach out to the person who can help you figure it out. Reach out and ask a specific question with specific parameters so that they don’t feel like they are signing up for something that is overwhelming.
Which leads me to advising.
Advising is when someone who has experience, in an area that you don’t have experience in, tells you how you navigate a situation.
You’re borrowing this person’s expertise and point of view, sharing your problem and hearing how they would handle the problem. An advisor might even say, “here’s what you should do . . . “
A coach doesn’t tell you what to do.
A coach partners with you in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires you to maximize your personal and professional potential.
A coach focuses on what you are, and are NOT saying, while using a variety of practices to support you in gaining greater insight into your values, strengths and vision. A coach helps you to transform knowledge, learning and insight into action.
What I’ve noticed in my practice, is that ultimately, a coach helps you to gain a greater sense of confidence in who you are, and what you have the capacity to do. You can learn more about the International Coaching Federation core competencies here.
So how do you choose?
I think what’s most important is to consider that it’s not an either/or. Within a given day, you may need to call upon the experience of a mentor, the information provided by an advisor, and the empowering conditions facilitated by a coach.
What matters most is taking the time to ask yourself, what do I need now?
